🥵 I want my dog back you sicko

Happy early Valentine’s Day sillies! This is your big, happy, sappy reminder that YOU NEED TO BUY YOUR VALENTINE A GIFT, we’re literally 3 days away. So, you’d better show them that you love them. Write them a card. Get AI to explain why you decided to eat their food behind their back. Laugh at their boring jokes.

Just make sure you do something nice.

There’s a lot of chat around the BuzzFeed office about keeping V-Day lowkey this year but in my humble opinion you should go big or STAY HOME (away from slaying).

I’ve had a lot of fun reading your submissions for our Love Notes and Overheard sections. Please keep on sending them my way. You all make me IJBOL.

In today’s direct-to-inbox cookery, we’ve got a voice note predator, a Spider-Man cosplayer and a “Level 5 gyatt”. Whatever that means! Our authors’ also dove deeply into the harmful effects of the fast-fashion space, mistakes in the Finding Nemo movie and decoding Gen Z slang. So as per usual, it’s a mixed bag. Enjoy 💗

Lots of luuuurrrv,

Ange x (@angelinebarion)

Q: Fill in the blank: Koala means ‘No _____’ in the Dharug language 🐨

If you talk too loud in a restaurant, thank you. Here’s what I picked up:
“Nah bro, do you know what she said to me? She reckons I’m her best mate or something. I’ve only met her twice with her girlfriend buuuuuuut she sent me a voice note. Do you know what she said?” a girl asked her friend. It said, “‘I would let that man ruin me any day. What do you think it means if I want to bite his toenails?’ That was to Tyler’s thirst trap that I reposted on my story.”

To top it all off the voice note demon, “MOANED into the mic — like really, really got into it. Like girl what??? I don’t even know you like that.”

NectarineKweeen from Baulkham Hills

I tried to get our timetables to align this year. Moving from the coast to Waratah was a pretty scary thing for me, but knowing you’re around and in my life makes it feel a lot less cooked. I want to ask you out so badly. I just can’t figure out how to do it. If you’re seeing this Millsy, will you be my Valentine? Meet me outside Bar on the Hill at 7pm for the Ziggy Alberts gig, I’ll shout you a pint and some mushroom sauce.

MulletToTheButt from Argenton

There’s a lot I want to say to you. I want my dog back you sicko. But also, I love you and I hope you’re okay. I know it’s been pretty tough since you broke your arm playing footy but I just need you to let me be there for you. I’ve thought about you every day for 3 years and nothing’s changed. Give Jer-Jer a big hug for me. I miss beach days with you. I miss feeding you lemon sorbet. And I miss our long chats. You’ve heard me say it over and over, but I’m sorry that I dressed up like Spider-Man then tried to hang upside down to kiss you like MJ, only to fall on top of you. You know how I get when I’ve had sugar.

Andrew from Noosa

A: No drink/no water

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