🥵 Keke Palmer only wants to do THIS sequel

Welcome back to another episode of this thing we call 🧬LIFE🧬. Are you excited? [insert Dora pause to allow you to answer]

OK, good!

If you’ve decided to open this email at work, I hope your Innie enjoys it just as much as your Outtie does. Shoutout to the Severance watchers because today’s newsletter is a melon party. In other words: THERE’S SO MUCH TO CHOOSE FROM. Ahead, we’ve got some secrets to share, celebrity sequels to spill and events for you to organise.

You can start with a Keke Palmer and Megan Thee Stallion combo (woah), move onto a sprinkle of Simone Ashley’s new rom-com (awww) and top it off with an incoming HR complaint (oops). Don’t worry, it’s not for you.

When you’re ready you can swim in a pool of heartbreak syrup and be one of the first to have a cuppa with Blair Waldorf, while she guesses some Aussie Slang. Luke Cook’s there too with his devilish charm. They’re waiting for you to hang out with them.

All in all, there’s a lot going on, as per usual. Make sure you enjoy it!

Stay silly and bring goodness,

Ange x (@angelinebarion)

Q: Angela Anaconda was set in which fictional town?

“I’m going to HR.” — Four words that’ll take you from ~locked in~ mode to a game of pretend, pretty f*cking fast. I’ve never listened to a convo, OMW home, more intently in my life.

“She came in on this Teams call talking about how amazing she is. Then she had the AUDACITY to tell me I wasn’t good enough to be a talent manager. She’s known to be a c*nt and I can see why.”

Need to know if little missy in the denim set filed that complaint.

Gwen from Bexley

Thinking of everyone in Brissy right now, with all the aftermath of Alfie. If anyone has a mate whose missus gave them the flick during the storm, give them an extra big hug — this guy sounded pretty wrecked. He was on the blower telling someone, “This morning I woke up and I was pretty emotional, I won’t lie. Just can’t believe she took off like that. She couldn’tve waited until the bloody storm was over? I didn’t even expect bro, that’s the worst part. Am I that annoying to her that she just had to f*ck off to her new boyfriend’s place without taking her squishies?”. Take him back darl, he was picking up eggs, that means he has money. Also what the heck are squishies?

Jim from Albion

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• This Powder Will Save You $6 On Your Morning Cuppa And It Might Just Be Better Than Your Barista Makes It

A: Tapwater Springs

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