🥵 They had to spend 4 hours in the ER...

Howdy Cowpeople 🤠, it’s your favourite rodeo clown, Hameda! 👋🤡 Apologies — I’ve been watching Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club” Grammys performance on repeat (can we talk about our fave Eras Tour dancer Kam making a surprise appearance?!). Along with every other performance (Doechii, Charli XCX, Sabrina…), because let’s be honest, last night’s show was better than any in the last decade.

The awards were deserved 🐝 (stans, stand down! And I say that as a lifelong Swiftie), and the girls showed up, showed out and MADE UP (Sabrina and Olivia, I’m looking at you). Men were there too.

On today’s agenda, BuzzFeed producer, Angeline, sought out to discover what Aussies think of the USA — spoiler alert — it’s not all bad. And if you’re wondering if your opinion counts, you can take the Only Aussies Can Score 100% quiz.

FYI, Doechii’s had our attention for far longer than the Grammys — so we’ve unpacked her Soundcloud rapper to IT girl status pipeline, and how she was, is and will always be an innovative, inspirational icon.

Today’s Love Notes had me a little concerned for a pair of brothers — but let’s be honest, I’m rooting for our Belly (Brat Summer lives on, so let’s get messy!) And our Overheard submission will probably leave you a little confused, slightly grossed out — and probably inspire your grocery list.

Enjoy, rejoice and be kind.

Signing off — your favourite brutally honest internet bestie, Hameda (@itshameda)

Q: Gotye’s “Somebody That I Used To Know” won how many Grammy Awards in 2013?

The phrase “Where does she get the audacity?” caught my attention at a cafe the other day. But there was more to it. I probably shouldn’t have been eavesdropping, but here’s what I caught: “So, me and ‘Pineapples’ were at this party the other night, and she was telling everyone she ran into ‘Garlic’.” Apparently, they hadn’t seen ‘Garlic’ since the time she’d told everyone she’d been “hooking up” with ‘Croissant’s’ brother.  “So ‘Garlic’ tells her he’s the worst kisser — tried to bite her lower lip in a flirty way, but ended up cutting it. They had to spend four hours in the ER, and now he’s been DM-ing her, trying to get with her again.” But here’s the kicker: “And ‘Pineapples’ was with ‘Croissant’s’ brother that night, trying to pull a pus-y ingrown toenail out, because y’know she’s a foot doctor or something.”

Justin from Constitution Hill

Eliza, I had a dream about you the other night. We were playing with our ‘kids’ (by that I mean, our two chunky corgis). We cuddled next to them as we cracked eggs and mixed pancake batter, or something like that. I woke up and wished it didn’t end. (Side note: I really needed to pee afterwards)

Sleepless from Sunnybank

Love note? More like 🥰LOVE ESSAY🥰! Get comfy folks.
This is my Summer I Turned Pretty moment, and I won’t let anyone snatch it from me. I’m in love with two brothers: Jake/Jakey and Trav. Jakey is so sweet, and I’ve always had a soft spot for him. He’s been through a lot with his ex, but it never changed the way he treats me. Honestly, I’m obsessed with the way he looks at me on the rare occasion he does. And wowie hon, he’s tall—like, I can already picture our kids being footy stars or crushing it in Little Athletics, that’s how tall he is. Trav, on the other hand, is mature and has his sh*t together. He’d drop everything to come running when I call. Any time. Any place. Sure, he’s not as tall as Jakey, which is a shame, but I think he could just take care of me. Anyways, they’ve both been kinda dying for my attention, it’s kinda nice TBH. Not sure when it’ll go away but I’m soaking it up. If anyone’s got advice for a girl caught between two brothers, hit me up. You’ll find a way. Oh, and if you think it’s me? Come up and say “Hey Belly.”

TeamConrad from Canberra

A: 2 Grammy Awards (Record of the Year & Best Pop Duo/Group Performance)

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